National Corruption Institute Of India

The 'C' School

Admissions are open now. Preference to those with criminal background. Politician's relatives get scholarship!!!

 

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National Corruption Institute Of India

( N C I I )

Affiliated To Both Houses Of Indian Parliament

Listed on the World Corruption Index as the World’s Best C-SchoolInvites Applications for 3 Years Undergraduate Bachelors Degree in Corruption. (BDC)

Earn your BDC from the World’s Most Reputed Institute for Corruption Studies

OUR COMPREHENSIVE SYLLABUS INCLUDES:

Financial Theory and Practice

• Transfer of funds through HAWAALA for creation of MASS GHOTALA
• FINANCIAL NETWORKING -Movement of money through well engineered networks between State Party Units and Central Party Unit.
• Solicitation methods to increase donations towards Party Fund.
• Theory and application of Popular BRIBE concepts and ­methods like ‘Chai Pani’, ‘Parcel’, ‘Change’, ‘Gift Box’ , ‘Color TV’, ‘Foreign Trip’ and the ever popular ‘Children’s School Fees’
• Real estate Business
• Learn how to multiply money with no capital
• fast track buying and selling of Govt/ pvt properties (il) legally. Lasses are taken by Prof Rabit Vadra.

Public Relations (PR) and Media Management

• Learn how to be MISQUOTED BY THE MEDIA.
• Learn to say the right things to be QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT.
• Excellent training in PARTY SPOKESMANOLOGY .Learn how to argue on TV with other Party people on TV like Professor Manish Tewari and Professor Ravi Shankar Prasad.

• Develop public gestures like NAMASTE and HAND WAVING.

• Learn the art of proving all allegations as “BASELESS AND POLITICALLY MOTIVATED”
• Effectively refute STING OPERATIONS. Advanced course in proving that VIDEO FOOTAGE IS FALSE AND MANIPULATED.

Law and Order Module:

In this module you will learn how to:

• Commit MURDER and RAPE
• Bring LOCAL POLICE under your control
• Get BAIL super fast if you are ever arrested.
• Apply and get speedy ANTICIPATORY BAIL so you don’t get arrested in the first place!
• FIGHT ELECTIONS FROM JAIL! Special lectures in this chapter by visiting Professors Shahbuddin and Pappu Yadav!

Advanced Riotology

• Methods to build your own storage houses for HOCKEY STICKS AND WEAPONS to engineer riots.
• Identify and develop your own fuel depots for easy and widespread dispersal of RIOT FRIENDLY PETROL TANKERS
• Form effective partnerships with local liquor stores for easy procurement of ‘DESI DARU’ to get rioters high and ensure awesome rioting!
• Full study in CONTEMPORARY BUS BURNING. New age exciting methods for INSTANTANEOUS BUS COMBUSTION.

• Introductory Kashmir method of inciting riots through STONE THROWING.

• Actual rioting demonstrations under the expert tutelage of Professor Pravin Togadia.

Gain Extensive Knowledge From Our Faculty Of

World class Professors.

Special Courses In:

• "2G SPECTRUM – A Telecommunications Perspective" By Professor Andimuthu Raja

• ''Flat Taking From Army Jawan'' By Professor Ashok Chavan
• ''The Correct Standard of Clean'' By Professor Lalit Bhanot
• ''Sports Medal or No Medal, In Corruption Always Get Gold Medal'' By Professor Suresh Kalmadi

• "Application of Corruption on Non Human Species – Stealing Money for Cattle Fodder" By Professor Laloo Prasad Yadav
• "Building A Corridor For The Taj Mahal Can Cost More Money That Building The Taj Mahal Itself" By Professor Mayawati Kumari.
• How to attract vote bank from neighboring countries and provide immediate citizenship and voter ids and still remain "sakular". by professor R Vinchi
• Systematic destruction of a country by extensive loot and investing in Swiss banks by Professor from Cambridge A Maino
• How to change your name to deceive people and keep hidden nationality. by professor A Maino

...And Many Many More..!!

SO FORGET ALL B-SCHOOLS, BE COOL JOIN

THE C-SCHOOL...

&

NCII IS THE BEST.